Hmmm. Sounds like you do not qualify for a de facto visa.
One benefit the 309 has over the 820 is that you can get married before the decision on the 309 is made.
Another option (and I don't know if this is possible or not so you need to check) is, is there any way to convert the visa from a 309 to a 300 (PMV). I know you can change a 300 to 309 but I don't know about the other way. It may not be possible but unless you ask you don't know.