Only in Australia - a bit of humour

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Only in Australia - a bit of humour

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 04-16-2009, 02:37 AM
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 692
Please update your flag here .

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Only in Australia - a bit of humour

Being Australian
is about driving in a German car
to an Irish pub
for A Belgian beer,
then on the way home, grabbing an Indian curry
or A Turkish kebab,
to sit on Swedish furniture and
watch American shows
on a Japanese TV.
Oh and.....
Only in Australia ...
can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.

Only in Australia ...
do supermarkets make
sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop
to get their prescriptions
while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia ...
do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries and
a DIET coke.

Only in Australia ...
do banks leave both doors wide open
and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Australia ...
do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars
in the driveway and
lock our junk and cheap lawn mower
in the garage.


3 Aussies die each year
testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

58 Aussies are injured each year
by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Aussies have died since 1996
by watering their Christmas tree
while the fairy lights were plugged in.

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000
trying on a new jumper
with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Aussies
were admitted to Emergency
in the last two years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

and finally.........

In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull
whilst throwing up into the toilet.

  #2 (permalink)  
Old 04-17-2009, 01:52 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 7,467
Please update your flag here .

139 likes received
That must be doing the rounds pretty quick Mike for got it about the same time you posted - we do not have a mutual acquaintance by name of Bazza by any chance do we?

  #3 (permalink)  
Old 04-18-2009, 08:39 AM
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 20
Please update your flag here .

Now that's funny.

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Old 04-18-2009, 10:00 AM
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 692
Please update your flag here .

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No, I don't know any Bazzas on the Internet, but I think I might know who you are talking about, if its the guy from LP.

  #5 (permalink)  
Old 05-03-2009, 09:02 AM
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 3
Please update your flag here .

Oh...It sounds good. Is this your own compose? Australia is worth honoring.

  #6 (permalink)  
Old 05-25-2009, 03:00 PM
Active Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 44
Please update your flag here .

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Australians all let us rejoice
For we are young and free
We've golden soil and wealth for toil,
Our home is girt by sea:
Our land abounds in nature's gifts
Of beauty rich and rare,
In history's page let every stage
Advance Australia fair,
In joyful strains then let us sing
Advance Australia fair.

Beneath our radiant Southern Cross,
We'll toil with hearts and hands,
To make this Commonwealth of ours
Renowned of all the lands,
For those who've come across the seas
We've boundless plains to share,
With courage let us all combine
To advance Australia fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia fair.

enjoy signing it..

I will be proud to be australian if I was really an australian ..

  #7 (permalink)  
Old 06-02-2009, 04:18 AM
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 4
Please update your flag here .

Australia is a sweet dream to many people including me, especially the beautiful Sydney.
what a pitty, it contain nothing of my motherland...

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