Parents won't accept us moving to Oz - Page 3

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Parents won't accept us moving to Oz - Page 3


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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 05-07-2013, 08:40 AM
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Users Flag! From greece

What do you want me to do? Lie and cuddle her?

Blunt reality is most people don't need to migrate, just like they don't need a house with a swimming pool and a large TV. How is that not contributing to the conscious?

I can understand people leaving a place because they have no chance of living a reasonable life. But most of the people here have sold estates, inherited wealth and then migrate and spend it in Australia. Hardly a victim of circumstances, or anything deserving a pat on the back in empathy.

You can consider me the guy who ended up in Australia by accident and can't leave due to family etc. If I have any advise it would be, think twice and for a very long time before migrating anywhere.


  #22 (permalink)  
Old 05-07-2013, 09:29 AM
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There is need to lie or cuddle, nor to insinuate that she has moved to Australia simply to get a house with a swimming pool. When in fact you know very little about someone else's reason for migrating. In fact, there is no need for you to comment at all when all you have are rude remarks.

That you believe people should not migrate unless they have no chance of a reasonable life in their home country is fine, and no one is stopping you from starting a discussion on such issues. I just react when all you do is judge and act as If you hold the only right view or answer to an issue.

EDIT: That was supposed to say NO need to lie or cuddle...

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Last edited by Lindaa; 05-07-2013 at 09:58 AM.

  #23 (permalink)  
Old 05-07-2013, 09:38 AM
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It really sounds like he hates it here? But why? Australia is what u make it. A great country friendly people beautiful weather why so bitter?

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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 05-07-2013, 09:50 AM
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Users Flag! From australia

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Quote:
I can understand people leaving a place because they have no chance of living a reasonable life.
Reasonable life is a relative matter... For some people reasonable life will mean having something to eat and a place to sleep. For others having a bunch of properties and sports cars.


  #25 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2013, 08:25 AM
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Please update your flag here .

Should I go or should I stay

Our son went to Oz Central Coast with his partner and granddaughter in 2004 I suppose I felt like your mum at the time and pretty much said what she said. My wife persuaded me to go on holiday in 2007 and I realised what a brilliant place it is to live. When I returned I looked at the possibility of retiring there but financially it is beyond our reach. However I did persuade my daughter it was the place to be and she emigrated last January and I am so pleased for her. I now have my two children living in Oz and all 3 of our grand children.
Yes we miss them like crazy. I have visited 4 times and my wife 5 times I am convinced it was the right decision for them to go.
My children are all adults and capable of making their own decisions and I am sure you are to, you must make the decision that is best for you and your family , it may happen you mum will change her mind.
I hope it all works out for you


  #26 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2013, 09:15 AM
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by blackink View Post
Our son went to Oz Central Coast with his partner and granddaughter in 2004 I suppose I felt like your mum at the time and pretty much said what she said. My wife persuaded me to go on holiday in 2007 and I realised what a brilliant place it is to live. When I returned I looked at the possibility of retiring there but financially it is beyond our reach. However I did persuade my daughter it was the place to be and she emigrated last January and I am so pleased for her. I now have my two children living in Oz and all 3 of our grand children.
Yes we miss them like crazy. I have visited 4 times and my wife 5 times I am convinced it was the right decision for them to go.
My children are all adults and capable of making their own decisions and I am sure you are to, you must make the decision that is best for you and your family , it may happen you mum will change her mind.
I hope it all works out for you

And for Ephestion, thoughts such as the above are the reasons that we uproot ourselves from all we have known & loved in our home countries- to be with our children who have made that choice but need some family with them- as good a reason as any for those of us who are up for the change & challenge. I will be taking a child with me who will complete his education in Australia & I don't worry about it being inferior to the UK system (have you been in some of our schools? the total teaching time per day is minimal anyway- I could teach him myself in 3 hrs a day or get a tutor) The Vocational options are there also- it appears to be a better system than ours in that respect (it's all relative)

As for the remarks about bigger houses/TV's etc what nonsense. I and I'm sure many emigrating parents will lose our homes over this choice & have to rent. So what in the scheme of things- it's not about possessions, it's about family. And those who don't choose this expensive & quicker route can opt for the 103, & visit regularly if they choose while waiting to go/ making sure it's what they truly want to do. Ephestion, if you need to talk about your own real issues, people are always willing to listen- don't just take it out on others who appear successful in bringing their dreams to fruition. It's never easy, as people here can testify, however much you want something to work .We all have our own private heartaches.


  #27 (permalink)  
Old 05-10-2013, 10:37 PM
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I can't really say anything that will make you feel better. It's just hard, no matter what.

I'm daddy's little girl and daddy only has one little girl. He is 62 and had heart problems last year during my first year in Australia. It's never easy. There is no right answer. He didn't want me to go at first. Sometimes I think he still wants me to come back.

You can talk yourself into this, or into that - I can tell myself I'll visit, he'll visit, we'll Skype, nothing bad will happen. The truth is you never know until you do actually regret it. I dread the day I lose him - presuming my visa is granted I will still be with my partner in Australia - and I will have to face the possibility that not only do I regret not seeing him more, I'll be reminded of it by my stepmother. That is the risk I took. Life isn't fair and some decisions are just goddamn tough and you CAN'T win. I chose what I felt was my only choice - go with the man I love.

The only thing that comforts me about this, with both my parents, is this - I tell them every week how much I miss them and love them, I tell them every time that I hope they know I want to be part of their lives even if I'm not right there, I tell them that I never want them to feel like I am not with them because I always am. The more I say it the more I believe they know I'm always pulling them closer with my heart. And maybe when something bad does happen they'll feel that and they won't feel they're without me and I won't feel as bad. Or maybe I will. Like I said - can't win, just have to pick your poison and deal with it the best way you know how.

Now that I'm in Australia they both realize this is best for me and they are truly happy for me. But if they ever say they need me there I'll be there in a heartbeat. That's a big condition in the relationship between my partner and myself - if he's in The Netherlands and his family needs him, we fly him over; if I'm in Australia and my family needs me, I fly over. Our families support this both emotionally and financially.

You can only make the best of it and be honest with yourself and your loved ones. Give your mother some time to come around and then see how YOU feel.

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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2013, 06:21 AM
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It's your life, and you have to live it your way. Your mother's need for company shouldn't be a reason to give up your dream job and life. Parents need to realise that there is so much that you can make your children do, and sacrificing their future for you is not one of them A long time ago, my grandfather was also strictly against my mum studying in Australia. If we had listened to him, I don't know what we would be now.


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