Wives, can you trust em? I think not!!

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Wives, can you trust em? I think not!!

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Old 01-27-2010, 04:53 AM
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Angry Wives, can you trust em? I think not!!

Well it was a calm humid and hot Sydney morning...well it was.
It all started with my eleven year old daughter asking for money(again) for SIMS( a pc game). Who, on hearing my answer, decided she needed a paper round. This is how we got to her fetching the post.

Well, said post, which was made up of a newspaper and some advertizing pamphlets, sat on our lounge coffee table for about half an before my wife started reading through it all after morning coffee.

Now at this point it should be noted my wife is sitting about 3 meters from me.

I'm in shorts and quite sleepy....

NEXT thing, theres a loud, petrified, wailing banshee shriek! Now, my mind works pretty fast and on a subconscious level is processing about 4 things at the same time. Something heavy has hit my chest, my wife is moon stepping/bounding in the opposite direction(still screaming) out the lounge, the suspicion that something evil has hit my chest, sudden anger at my wife(who is defining "every woman for herself") and the fact that I need to take evasive action of some sort.

At this point my manly defensive reactions kick in (which consists of my doing a sort of epileptic fit and accomplishing zero gravitational floatation abilities and a monkey dance(my wifes description)). At some point I look down to register whats going one, and this is the thing, I cant quite remember as its all a haze, but its a frikking huge giant hairy spider! Which has just gone from somewhere about my chest region to the floor between my legs and is on the move!

The spider is about 8 centimetres across and seems about a meter wide. So I take off after my wife(with whom I am still pretty angry).

Well my little eleven year old girl has a fit, after seeing this and finding she has carried it in the house. Basically my wife found the spider by leafing through an advertising pamphlet(which makes me pretty happy for some reason). Perhaps she will never read adverts again?

Safe to say, the house is now in deathcon 4 mode, screen doors shut, everything sprayed and every item inspected suspiciously before handled.

See picture of monster below. (I had quite a few but they were all blurry as I was quivering)

Immigrating to Sydney: St Ives wives in sydney - should one trust them? It think Not! (its a true story)

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Old 01-29-2010, 03:24 AM
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You and your wife may discover Byron that large [harmless] tarantulas or daddy long legs huntsmen or whatever [I'm not an expert on them by name] it may have been are a common variety of the many varieties of spiders that hust thrive in Sydneys mild climate.

It's the smaller ones, the trapdoors, the funnelwebs , redbacks or white tails that can have an a nasty even fatal kick to their bites, fortunately most of those being found in outdoor/garden locations etc. so always check around patio/garden furniture that may not have been used for a while.

The tarantulars do have a fiercesome look about them and they are great to have around to keep control of mossies/flies and other bugs, maybe even the cockroaches.
[ some people even keep them for pets!] , and then if you're lucky you may end up with some resident geckos though not sure if they're as far south as Sydney.

Anyway, just open a door for said Spike the Spider and you'll probably be able to herd him outside or if you've taken to buying Yogurt by the I Kg. tub, [ those tubs do become useful for all sorts of containing/catching ] you can develop the skill of moving calmly and slowly towards Spike who'll likely be eying you off as to what your next move is but staying put.
With a quick movement you get the tub over him, he being trapped where he is and then with a stiffish piece of paper [ an envelope ideal] or another piece of the junk mail you slide that under the tub and hey presto you have Spike to take back out to the garden.

Let the 11 YO know to check about the letterbox to save being bitten and a good spray in and about there will not go astray.

I'll not go into the detail of how I had to catch a snake at 2 am one morning nor the wife giving one a good beating out on the verandah at about 4:30 am one morning because it was trying to get to her caged Love bird - fortunately I had made the cage of mesh just small enough for the snake not to be able to get fully in.

New Zealand btw has no poisonous spiders nor snakes.

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Old 02-17-2010, 11:18 PM
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Location: Limestone Coast, South Australia
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Yes it's a huntsman.

My husband is a gardener and I went out in the garden to ask him something. He had on an old army style shirt. Anyway I'm talking and then I spot a large spider (I didn't know what it was then) on his upper chest moving towards his shoulder. Did I mention that I have a strong phobia of spiders?

Anyway I point and can't actually say anything. It was complete gibberish and lost my ability to form coherent words. It's not often I'm stuck for words My husband wonders what the heck is going on and then looks down. He calmly brushes it off and says something like "Oh a spider". By this time I've almost had a heart attack but my speech starts to come back.

So far the only time we've had one in the house was when my Dad was being 'helpful' and tried to shoo one away from the front door but it ran in the house instead. I had to hunt it down with a piece of cardboard and a bowl to put it back outside.

In the 2.5 years down in the Limestone Coast I've only seen two huntsmen and one blue tongue lizard.


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Last edited by kaz101; 02-17-2010 at 11:30 PM.

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