Visa Stress

Go Back   Living and Working in Australia Forum With Immigration and Travel Information > General topics > General chit-chat and news

General chit-chat and news This is the general chat and social section of the forum. Feel free to use this area to talk about topics that don't fit elsewhere on the site. We may also use this section to make news announcements for the site.

Visa Stress


Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-10-2010, 05:30 PM
Active Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 22
Please update your flag here .

2 likes received
Visa Stress

I wanted to give my own story here so Wanderer and others know where I am coming from. First, I have vented a bit in here in my frustration, and I thank everyone who has responded where they could. The department of immigration website is a wealth of information that can answer many general questions or procedural questions and having done much of my own research I can vouch for this.

While I say alot of things, like everyone else, I am waiting in silence, and in fact the last time we contacted our case officer was 2 months ago by email. I know not to disturb them.

But if a large percentage of couples end up separated for good due to the stress of this process, then it's time someone said some things and cleared the air.

For me, my perspective is that each day is precious in life, and I don't like to assume that "tomorrow" will come. I had a death in my family 3 years ago quite close to me and since then my view of life changed, and I guess I just want to live every day to the full, so I changed a few things, I went from being single to being married for example. But due to the fact that my wife is in China, I am still living in many ways as a single person like I did before. I get up every morning on my own, and do everything on my own as I did when I was single.

All the benefits and joys of being together physically are on hold until we get our visa. Until then it is phone calls and internet chats. If she is sick I cannot be there to help her, if she is upset about something all I can do is offer words of comfort. I want to sometimes reach through my computer screen and touch her face but I cannot. All we have are words and emotions, and it is hard to build a marriage relationship without physical interaction.

I am not blaming our government for all this, for in the end, we the people chose the government, and to complain at them is to complain at ourselves. I just think that there could be room for improvement.

For me, my wife is my life right now, and even though we are apart, I centre my life around her.

The hard thing about this waiting period is the uncertainty factor and for me, I hate the fact that I am living every day without my wife, and to me that is a waste. I do not assume the future is certain, maybe I am wrong for having this view, but no one can tell what the future will hold for any of us. So I live each day as the most important day of my life. I guess the secret in all this to find a way to accept the situation I am in but how?


  #2 (permalink)  
Old 07-11-2010, 12:08 AM
Moderator
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Sydney
Posts: 685
Users Flag! From australia

56 likes received
1 likes given
Frank...

I think I can understand, what you are going through. I remember when I went through the same in 2007. We got married in December 2006 and Immi advised us to apply for student visa for my wife to get her here sooner. The visa was rejected. We hired a migration agent who helped us get spouse visa for my wife. In the end everything was lucky for us and we got the visa. However, we spent 9 months apart separated and that was a lot of time.


  #3 (permalink)  
Old 07-11-2010, 03:24 AM
Wanderer's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 7,467
Please update your flag here .

138 likes received
I see you've replied on the other thread Frank and decided not to wait.
http://www.australiaforum.com/issues...estigates.html btw indicates your last contact as being 25.6.
What I'll do is role all your threads into one and edit out what is fringe stuff.

Having thought of a name, to me Family Visas Support Chat is less of a scream!
It will be up to participants on how they will wish to use the opportunity.

btw, have you considered your wife applying for a visitor's visa while the spouse visa is being processed and then for granting it would mean just a quick trip across the ditch to NZ.





Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 07-11-2010, 11:42 AM
Skydancer's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Gold Coast, QLD
Posts: 206
Users Flag! From australia

8 likes received
26 likes given
Dear Frank

It's the same for me... every morning I wake up and wonder how I'll get through the day without seeing my husband, without getting a hug from him.

It's been ten weeks since I left India and already the pain of separation is getting more and more intense. If I had enough money, I would immediately fly back and we could wait together. It's difficult to feel enthusiastic about my surroundings. I do try to join in with every day activities, but always at the back of my mind is the nagging fear....will our visa be approved, how long will it take...

On some days I feel positive. On many more days sad. Life is too short to spend in waiting for happiness...


  #5 (permalink)  
Old 07-12-2010, 08:35 AM
Active Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 22
Please update your flag here .

2 likes received
I am still trying to wrap my mind around how the visa system works. Wanderer says that some of the reasons for longer waiting periods are the outside checks or unanswered questions and relying on those agencies across the world etc, and I can see the sense in that logic.

But beyond all the checking and work the CO's do, there is still a very real hard limited number of places available, so this must also be taken as part of the reasons why waiting is so long. Even the dept of immigration website says this when talking about the factors that contribute to each visa taking time to process. I am totally certain that many applications are quite fine and are processed ok but must be sat on until their number comes up in the queue.

But yes, in our life, time is the one of those things we cannot replace. When I was single my time was my own, but now I am married I have chosen to spend my time with my partner. I made a life choice I was very happy with, as have many people before me. Yes, there are marriages where in the military people are away for many months, and you know, the uncertainties of war and such would be hell on such marriages.

I know the military has such emotional support structures in place to help their personnel cope, and I think if you look at it from that view we could justify having the same system for visa waiting couples. I can't imagine that this period of separation is good for our economy either as I'm sure a large proportion of visa couples would be driven to distraction many days, depressed and upset, taking away from their job performance.

I do agree with you though Wanderer, it is a new episode in life, a new chapter, just an unhappy one which for many we find it hard to cope.

But my thinking is that in life we do have many hard times, and we do often make choice with hard consequences (like marrying someone from another nation and having to wait for the visa), so maybe the key is to make the most of your relationship with your partner today, hence why my online and phone bills are quite high If the internet and phone is all I have, I choose to make the most of that, be creative


  #6 (permalink)  
Old 07-12-2010, 01:17 PM
Skydancer's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Gold Coast, QLD
Posts: 206
Users Flag! From australia

8 likes received
26 likes given
That's true Frank, last year I was away from my fiance (now my husband) for seven months. I started a new job, but the stress of separation affected my work performance, so that I was fired. Now I'm back in Australia again and looking for work, but I don't know how I'll go in a new job, with my mind elsewhere most of the time. I'll try to concentrate and be enthusiastic.

As you say, we are lucky to have the internet and pc phone calls. Without that, being apart would be unbearable.

My life is on hold.... and so is my husbands.


Last edited by Skydancer; 07-12-2010 at 01:47 PM.

  #7 (permalink)  
Old 08-03-2010, 10:09 PM
Active Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 24
Please update your flag here .

Waiting .. after the visa application...

I have been away from my husband now for 7 months.. due to some reasons, could not apply for the spouse visa earlier.. mailed in my application last month. It has been difficult staying away from him all this while, but for some reason, it has been even more excruciating after I sent in the application. I keep checking my emails 100 times a day.. and keep coming back to this forum atleast 10 times everyday. Not sure what would I get by coming back here again and again, probably some solace that there are many many others in my situation, even worse.

Our case is pretty simple, so to say, since we are applying for a spouse visa and have all the legal documents, photos etc, but you never know what more would the immi require.. and every day, I keep thinking about my application.. wondering if I had overlooked some column, or written in something by mistake.. and what if something went wrong..?? I dont even wanna think in that direction..!

Since the application, every day now seems like a week, and I can safely say, I have a new addiction - checking my inbox every few minutes and australiaforum.com every few hours...

Life surely is on hold !


  #8 (permalink)  
Old 08-03-2010, 11:44 PM
Skydancer's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Gold Coast, QLD
Posts: 206
Users Flag! From australia

8 likes received
26 likes given
Oh Annika, I understand how you feel! My life is also on hold.... me too... I check Australia Forum every day... just knowing there are other people in the same situation is comforting.

Wish you all the very best .... soon we will be together with our husbands in Australia :-)


  #9 (permalink)  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:52 AM
Active Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 24
Please update your flag here .

I hope so too Skydancer... good luck to you too.. :-)


  #10 (permalink)  
Old 08-04-2010, 06:58 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 58
Please update your flag here .

3 likes received
it's great to see that other people have become as obsessive as I have become - checking emails, checking this forum - anymore information? Anyone else going through what I am?
It does become all consuming - what have I missed, what else should I have done........I suppose the best thing to do, is breathe, get on with life ........while we wait......Oh, I wish I could take my own advice!!!!!!!!

Best of luck to us all.


Closed Thread

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Visa Stress Combsyfoot Visas and immigration 5 05-26-2011 10:47 PM
Visa Stress - Is no news, necessarily bad news??? pandora Visas and immigration 3 09-20-2010 03:09 PM

LEGAL NOTICE
By using this Website, you agree to abide by our Terms and Conditions (the "Terms"). This notice does not replace our Terms, which you must read in full as they contain important information. You must not post any defamatory, unlawful or undesirable content, or any content copied from a third party, on the Website. You must not copy material from the Website except in accordance with the Terms. This Website gives users an opportunity to share information only and is not intended to contain any advice which you should rely upon. It does not replace the need to take professional or other advice. We have no liability to you or any other person in respect of any content on this Website.


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:01 AM.




Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
AustraliaForum.com