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The regulations you have found Baz are unfortunately not too flexible and so there is not much you can do but look for the cheapest return airfare you can get forNZ or wherever.
 

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yeah slavekajira that is what I have done.
I also heard once out here contact the local immigration, or mainland Australia Immigration as they may be more understanding in getting things sorted.
I tried this and it was not the case.
The lady I spoke to on the Aussie mainland was under the impression that I had to fly back to UK as that is where my Visa is being processed.
Mainland immigration does not have access to UK Australia's immigration database. The two departments are independant.
At the end of the conversation and a few questions from myself, that made the lady in question have to go further up the chain to provide me with answers, she did concede that in the end it was what made the UK immigration department happy that I would have to do.
To cover myself I emailed my adviser in the UK on my intentions of leaving Australia and reenter on such and such a date, mentioning that I would be using the oppurtunity to visit Baili, and would provide details when I purchased my tickets.
There is no requirement to buy a return ticket on the first fly out to Australia, although you may have to prove that you have funds to purchase the return flight, best to be prepared, take bank statements, credit cards etc,
If carrying cash, under 10,000 Aussie dollars is allowed I believe, then you can open a bank account once in Oz, just explain your situation fully.
In all things honesty is best, criminal records etc, plans, intentsions etc.
I would also suggest taking a copy of your emails from your adviser on when your spousal email is due to be granted.
Just to clarify a couple of your thoughts.
There is no separate or several immigration departments, just the one and Immi officers abroad are attached to the various embassies/consulates/high commissions etc. and they may have some slight variations on procedures and run an independent database but there is one set of Immi regulations.
You do not have to return to your home country for a visa application to be considered and if they deem an interview is required that can also be arranged elsewhere.
 
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