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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi All,

I am in a difficult situation right now. I applied under sub class 189 and included my family (wife and two children) in the application. During the course of the visa application processing, my marriage life went through difficult times and my wife left me and started living with her parents along with our children. I wanted to bring her back but she stopped responding to my requests. I went through so much stress in the past 2 months that no one can imagine.

I told her that I didn't want her to accompany me to Australia and I wanted to withdraw her from my application. I told her that she had to sign some papers to enable me to proceed with withdrawing her name (this is what is mentioned on the immigration website). She said that she wouldn't sign anything.

Now after I have stopped contacting her, and I am planning to file a child custody lawsuit in our home country, she wants to comeback. A few people from her side have told me that she is doing this because the decision on my visa application is very near and she wants to land in Australia with me. They told that once she lands, she will separate again. She wants to take maximum benefit out of this situation.

I would appreciate if anyone could suggest the best course of action in this situation considering that I don't want to take her to Australia. I am ready to leave the children with her till the courts in our home country decide on child custody.

Thanks.
Faysal
 

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Faisal- before you go ahead with anything else, why don't you try & have a proper calm discussion with your wife about all this. It's a huge life change moving a family to another country & she might be just as stressed & confused as you.
Instead of threatening her with a) withdrawal of her & the children on your application or b) taking the children from her custody , talk it all through first instead of listening to what family are assuming. She might not have wanted to sign anything simply because she needed time to think about it first? & would you really just leave your family & go alone? & if you did get custody of the children would you really take them to Aus on your own without their mother? & how would you look after them if you're at work?
Just don't rush anything. Talk.
 

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Faisal- before you go ahead with anything else, why don't you try & have a proper calm discussion with your wife about all this. It's a huge life change moving a family to another country & she might be just as stressed & confused as you.
Instead of threatening her with a) withdrawal of her & the children on your application or b) taking the children from her custody , talk it all through first instead of listening to what family are assuming. She might not have wanted to sign anything simply because she needed time to think about it first? & would you really just leave your family & go alone? & if you did get custody of the children would you really take them to Aus on your own without their mother? & how would you look after them if you're at work?
Just don't rush anything. Talk.
Totally agree with you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Faisal- before you go ahead with anything else, why don't you try & have a proper calm discussion with your wife about all this. It's a huge life change moving a family to another country & she might be just as stressed & confused as you.
Instead of threatening her with a) withdrawal of her & the children on your application or b) taking the children from her custody , talk it all through first instead of listening to what family are assuming. She might not have wanted to sign anything simply because she needed time to think about it first? & would you really just leave your family & go alone? & if you did get custody of the children would you really take them to Aus on your own without their mother? & how would you look after them if you're at work?
Just don't rush anything. Talk.
Thanks very much for your response.

The thing is, I tried so much in the first two months and she behaved like she doesn't care about anything. She stopped me from visiting my children. This thing was unbearable for me. After so much effort, I decided that I should move on with my life and the stress started to subside but then she sent me a message that she wanted to come back.

I was happy that at last, I could see happy ending of this stressful episode of my life.

I called and talked to her and my children and suddenly my 4 year old asked me over the phone: 'Why do you beat my mom and granny with a stick?, You are a bad bad father.' I was shocked. I told her that my child hates me now so what's the use of coming back. This one sentence changed the entire situation. Now I don't want to live with a liar and a cunning person. She says that she didn't teach anything to my children, but then who else could do that? Her parents? I am extremely heart broken and seeing myself going through even worst stress during the next few months.

Well this is my story that I didn't want to share initially. Now I don't want to continue with her anymore.

I think as one senior member said, I should write DIAC exactly what is going on in my life and then see what they do.

Thanks for your time.

Faysal
 

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Thanks very much for your response.

The thing is, I tried so much in the first two months and she behaved like she doesn't care about anything. She stopped me from visiting my children. This thing was unbearable for me. After so much effort, I decided that I should move on with my life and the stress started to subside but then she sent me a message that she wanted to come back.

I was happy that at last, I could see happy ending of this stressful episode of my life.

I called and talked to her and my children and suddenly my 4 year old asked me over the phone: 'Why do you beat my mom and granny with a stick?, You are a bad bad father.' I was shocked. I told her that my child hates me now so what's the use of coming back. This one sentence changed the entire situation. Now I don't want to live with a liar and a cunning person. She says that she didn't teach anything to my children, but then who else could do that? Her parents? I am extremely heart broken and seeing myself going through even worst stress during the next few months.

Well this is my story that I didn't want to share initially. Now I don't want to continue with her anymore.

I think as one senior member said, I should write DIAC exactly what is going on in my life and then see what they do.

Thanks for your time.

Faysal
Looking at your post..It looks like your childish behaviour to blame for what has happened to you..Its just a child who is saying this thing...I think you are now looking for excuses to get rid of her and It looks like you don't even care about your children because its their life who would suffer if you two get seperated..A mother can't be replaced..

Sorry for above harsh comments but I went through the same situation and Alhamdulillah at the eleventh hour decided against it (I was also going to divorce my wife) and now I have been living happily with my wife and children...Believe me my situation was far more worse than yours..

Give your wife a chance..you would never regret it
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Looking at your post..It looks like your childish behaviour to blame for what has happened to you..Its just a child who is saying this thing...I think you are now looking for excuses to get rid of her and It looks like you don't even care about your children because its their life who would suffer if you two get seperated..A mother can't be replaced..

Sorry for above harsh comments but I went through the same situation and Alhamdulillah at the eleventh hour decided against it (I was also going to divorce my wife) and now I have been living happily with my wife and children...Believe me my situation was far more worse than yours..

Give your wife a chance..you would never regret it
Hi fabregas,

Every person's situation is different and you can't just say that it was my childish attitude that have brought us thus far. You should never say this unless you are in exactly same situation. Just remember, one or two incidents don't contribute in maintaining or breaking relationships.

Anyway, my post was not about discussing the complete chain of events rather it was about how to proceed to withdraw her name without her signing anything and I am sure DIAC would understand my situation and advise accordingly.
 

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Whoa, okay, this forum is not for judging people's personal lives, it's for dealing with the immigration aspects of cases.

Faisal, I think you're mistaken that you'd need your wife's signature that the relationship has broken down. You're required to let DIAC know within 28 days if it has broken down. Call them and talk to them, and they'll let you know what you need to do.
 
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