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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I wanted to give my own story here so Wanderer and others know where I am coming from. First, I have vented a bit in here in my frustration, and I thank everyone who has responded where they could. The department of immigration website is a wealth of information that can answer many general questions or procedural questions and having done much of my own research I can vouch for this.

While I say alot of things, like everyone else, I am waiting in silence, and in fact the last time we contacted our case officer was 2 months ago by email. I know not to disturb them.

But if a large percentage of couples end up separated for good due to the stress of this process, then it's time someone said some things and cleared the air.

For me, my perspective is that each day is precious in life, and I don't like to assume that "tomorrow" will come. I had a death in my family 3 years ago quite close to me and since then my view of life changed, and I guess I just want to live every day to the full, so I changed a few things, I went from being single to being married for example. But due to the fact that my wife is in China, I am still living in many ways as a single person like I did before. I get up every morning on my own, and do everything on my own as I did when I was single.

All the benefits and joys of being together physically are on hold until we get our visa. Until then it is phone calls and internet chats. If she is sick I cannot be there to help her, if she is upset about something all I can do is offer words of comfort. I want to sometimes reach through my computer screen and touch her face but I cannot. All we have are words and emotions, and it is hard to build a marriage relationship without physical interaction.

I am not blaming our government for all this, for in the end, we the people chose the government, and to complain at them is to complain at ourselves. I just think that there could be room for improvement.

For me, my wife is my life right now, and even though we are apart, I centre my life around her.

The hard thing about this waiting period is the uncertainty factor and for me, I hate the fact that I am living every day without my wife, and to me that is a waste. I do not assume the future is certain, maybe I am wrong for having this view, but no one can tell what the future will hold for any of us. So I live each day as the most important day of my life. I guess the secret in all this to find a way to accept the situation I am in but how?
 

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Frank...

I think I can understand, what you are going through. I remember when I went through the same in 2007. We got married in December 2006 and Immi advised us to apply for student visa for my wife to get her here sooner. The visa was rejected. We hired a migration agent who helped us get spouse visa for my wife. In the end everything was lucky for us and we got the visa. However, we spent 9 months apart separated and that was a lot of time.
 

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I see you've replied on the other thread Frank and decided not to wait.
http://www.australiaforum.com/issues-current-events/4725-australian-embassy-investigates.html btw indicates your last contact as being 25.6.
What I'll do is role all your threads into one and edit out what is fringe stuff.

Having thought of a name, to me Family Visas Support Chat is less of a scream!
It will be up to participants on how they will wish to use the opportunity.

btw, have you considered your wife applying for a visitor's visa while the spouse visa is being processed and then for granting it would mean just a quick trip across the ditch to NZ.
 

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Dear Frank

It's the same for me... every morning I wake up and wonder how I'll get through the day without seeing my husband, without getting a hug from him.

It's been ten weeks since I left India and already the pain of separation is getting more and more intense. If I had enough money, I would immediately fly back and we could wait together. It's difficult to feel enthusiastic about my surroundings. I do try to join in with every day activities, but always at the back of my mind is the nagging fear....will our visa be approved, how long will it take...

On some days I feel positive. On many more days sad. Life is too short to spend in waiting for happiness...
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I am still trying to wrap my mind around how the visa system works. Wanderer says that some of the reasons for longer waiting periods are the outside checks or unanswered questions and relying on those agencies across the world etc, and I can see the sense in that logic.

But beyond all the checking and work the CO's do, there is still a very real hard limited number of places available, so this must also be taken as part of the reasons why waiting is so long. Even the dept of immigration website says this when talking about the factors that contribute to each visa taking time to process. I am totally certain that many applications are quite fine and are processed ok but must be sat on until their number comes up in the queue.

But yes, in our life, time is the one of those things we cannot replace. When I was single my time was my own, but now I am married I have chosen to spend my time with my partner. I made a life choice I was very happy with, as have many people before me. Yes, there are marriages where in the military people are away for many months, and you know, the uncertainties of war and such would be hell on such marriages.

I know the military has such emotional support structures in place to help their personnel cope, and I think if you look at it from that view we could justify having the same system for visa waiting couples. I can't imagine that this period of separation is good for our economy either as I'm sure a large proportion of visa couples would be driven to distraction many days, depressed and upset, taking away from their job performance.

I do agree with you though Wanderer, it is a new episode in life, a new chapter, just an unhappy one which for many we find it hard to cope.

But my thinking is that in life we do have many hard times, and we do often make choice with hard consequences (like marrying someone from another nation and having to wait for the visa), so maybe the key is to make the most of your relationship with your partner today, hence why my online and phone bills are quite high :) If the internet and phone is all I have, I choose to make the most of that, be creative :)
 

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That's true Frank, last year I was away from my fiance (now my husband) for seven months. I started a new job, but the stress of separation affected my work performance, so that I was fired. Now I'm back in Australia again and looking for work, but I don't know how I'll go in a new job, with my mind elsewhere most of the time. I'll try to concentrate and be enthusiastic.

As you say, we are lucky to have the internet and pc phone calls. Without that, being apart would be unbearable.

My life is on hold.... and so is my husbands.
 

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Waiting .. after the visa application...

I have been away from my husband now for 7 months.. due to some reasons, could not apply for the spouse visa earlier.. mailed in my application last month. It has been difficult staying away from him all this while, but for some reason, it has been even more excruciating after I sent in the application. I keep checking my emails 100 times a day.. and keep coming back to this forum atleast 10 times everyday. Not sure what would I get by coming back here again and again, probably some solace that there are many many others in my situation, even worse.

Our case is pretty simple, so to say, since we are applying for a spouse visa and have all the legal documents, photos etc, but you never know what more would the immi require.. and every day, I keep thinking about my application.. wondering if I had overlooked some column, or written in something by mistake.. and what if something went wrong..?? I dont even wanna think in that direction..!

Since the application, every day now seems like a week, and I can safely say, I have a new addiction - checking my inbox every few minutes and australiaforum.com every few hours...

Life surely is on hold !
 

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Oh Annika, I understand how you feel! My life is also on hold.... me too... I check Australia Forum every day... just knowing there are other people in the same situation is comforting.

Wish you all the very best .... soon we will be together with our husbands in Australia :)
 

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it's great to see that other people have become as obsessive as I have become - checking emails, checking this forum - anymore information? Anyone else going through what I am?
It does become all consuming - what have I missed, what else should I have done........I suppose the best thing to do, is breathe, get on with life ........while we wait......Oh, I wish I could take my own advice!!!!!!!!

Best of luck to us all.
 

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So happy to find this forum :D to realise we are not alone. I haven't seen my other half for 3 months now and the case officer wrote an email the other day saying that although the original letter said 3/4 months its now up to 6 months for approval...:eek:

Oh dear :( what if we reach the 6 month mark and she decides to postpone it even further :(...

We were totally optimistic, my other half got a good job in Oz. Thinking that the longest we would be separated would be 3 months ( but surely that is the worst case scenario we thought) he headed off in May.

Before he left, being the optimists that we were :rolleyes: , we packed up all our belongings into boxes to ship, sold the car, I moved home so that I could spend quality time with my parents before the impending emigration...and then..3 months later we are still separated and have no real idea whether and when the visa will be granted and if we will see each other in the next 6 months....6 months :mad: :( :eek:!! :( Hasn't the woman ever been in love??
 

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a little bit more

To Skydancer, you sound so so sad, I am sure once you are reunited with your husband everything else like jobs and stuff will fall into place.

To all the others especially Skydancer and FrankSS I feel for you so much and if I feel this hopeless, lonely and confused after 3 months I can only imagine how horrible it is for you, after such a long period of time. The one consolation is that the pain we are feeling now is a constant reminder that we are some of the lucky ones that have found our other halves in this life. Obviously it would be so much better if we were actually with them :D. Good luck to you all, hopefully it won't be too much longer
 

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hi peggy lee - we are applying for the partner visa thru the london office for my irish partner and I feel your pain. We are so ready to leave but have just been told the processing times are now 5-6 months!
We applied in April so we thought we would be in oz be now.
Anyway we were told to call back in September so we are hoping its good news.
good luck with your visa app.
 

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Thanks

hi peggy lee - we are applying for the partner visa thru the london office for my irish partner and I feel your pain. We are so ready to leave but have just been told the processing times are now 5-6 months!
We applied in April so we thought we would be in oz be now.
Anyway we were told to call back in September so we are hoping its good news.
good luck with your visa app.
Thanks dub2oz, will be interested to hear how you get on since you guys are a month ahead of us :) Good luck to you too!
 

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Fed up

Still waiting, I wish we had been better prepared for how horrible a separation would be. :(. Don't know how people are coping with twice this long
 

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Still waiting, I wish we had been better prepared for how horrible a separation would be. :(. Don't know how people are coping with twice this long
Just don't lay it at the feet of the CO Peggy for they can only do what policy allows them to do and have no control over numbers applying at any particular time nor any reduction in staffing numbers that may have occurred.

I've not gone delving to see if the government has reviewed their budgetted numbers for this year but even without that, they probably have the message out to just process applications at the applicable monthly rate rather than get ahead and then find that a bottleneck occurs as it did towards the end of last year and so less applications were processed for a couple of months.
 

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Hi Peggy Lee

Thanks for your support. It's been three months and 12 days. Being apart is not getting easier as time goes on.... we are missing each other more and more. If only we knew with certainty that his visa will be approved, then the waiting could be more bearable! Wanderer pointed out that 160,000 visas get rejected every week!!. It's scary...
 

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Of course I don't blame the CO, Wanderer, I was being glib. I'm sure no individual CO actually delays an applicant without good reason, that would be cruel.

Ultimate optimists that we are, we thought that this timeframe confirmed by our confirmation letter, was the worst case scenario and so was unprepared for it to stretch past this and into the unknown.

I am just sharing my stress via "visa stress" :) ...misery loves company ;) . Who better to vent to and to support, other than people going through similar separations ( for whatever reasons) when waiting for the approval .

I appreciate your reply Wanderer and that you highlight that this is not personal. While I know it feels personal when going through it at the time, I think most people would realise that they are just file number : REF100,001 and that the CO's are just doing their job.

Saying that, I am still looking forward to when the separation is a distant memory that I recall once in a while when the other half is driving me mad :D.

Until then I remain in relationship purgatory, saved only by the morning and evening skype chats!
 

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Hi Peggy Lee

Thanks for your support. It's been three months and 12 days. Being apart is not getting easier as time goes on.... we are missing each other more and more. If only we knew with certainty that his visa will be approved, then the waiting could be more bearable! Wanderer pointed out that 160,000 visas get rejected every week!!. It's scary...
Oh dear, I wasn't even factoring in a rejection..:(, I think we will cross that bridge, if and when we are faced with it. I am just a few days behind you in separation, but yes even if I knew that on "this date" I would be given an answer (an approval preferably) it would be more bearable.

It is a funny situation to find oneself in alright. Everyone tells me to keep busy, but besides work,my social life has dwindled to an ethernet connection to my other half. Checking to see if he is OK and not too lonely, reassuring him that I am OK and not too lonely. :(

I know I will definitely appreciate him a lot more when I see him next :).

Keep your head up Skydancer, I know how you feel, but I am sure it will all work out. :D.
 

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Hi Peggy Lee

Thanks for your support. It's been three months and 12 days. Being apart is not getting easier as time goes on.... we are missing each other more and more. If only we knew with certainty that his visa will be approved, then the waiting could be more bearable! Wanderer pointed out that 160,000 visas get rejected every week!!. It's scary...
That's just a tad misquoting there Skydancer or at least I hope it was 160,000 p.a. that I may have posted.
That in itself is a figure quoted from an older article on an Immi report re average for four years to 2007 I think it was and I've not bothered in more recent times to see what the figure is.
And there was no split up between types of visas.

But it did emphasise the importance of having a well presented complete and accurate application for any visa.
 
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