The Offshore Partner Kiss-and-Cry

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The Offshore Partner Kiss-and-Cry


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Old 08-05-2013, 04:18 PM
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The Offshore Partner Kiss-and-Cry

We're often all about business on this forum - the business of helping each other emigrate to a wonderful country with wonderful people! But sometimes, when you're in different countries and away from your partner, it can be really, really hard to cope. We all have good days, where we're optimistic and sure our grant will come any day, and completely head-over-heels and chipper about being in love... and then we have days when it seems like the grant is just not going to come and we miss our partners like crazy and the process just feels so daunting and overwhelming.

So in my area of the US (not sure if it's true in other areas/countries, too) we call the area where people drop off their loved ones and say goodbye (say, at the train station) a "kiss-and-cry." I thought it would be a good idea to create a virtual kiss-and-cry for this forum.

Miss your partner? Overwhelmed by the process and how it's affecting your plans with your partner and your relationship? Really, really tired of saying goodbye over and over again while you wait to be together? Need to tell someone about your overwhelming love for your partner and the very sweet thing he/she did to make the wait a little more bearable?

Do you ever want to talk about this but worry that the other forum denizens would be bored by hearing you whinge?

Well, here you go - problem solved. Vent away on the Kiss-and-Cry thread.

P.S. - If you are annoyed by sap and mushiness, this might not be the thread for you. Can't say I didn't warn you.

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Original Nationality: US
Visa #1: PMV (300) through Washington, D.C
Applied: April 2013.
Visa Granted: January 2014.
Visa #2: Subclass 820 (From PMV).
Applied: End of April 2014.
Visa Granted: Early July 2014.
Visa #3: 801 (PR)
Eligibility Date: End of April 2016 (Applied a month prior).
PR Granted: Early April 2017.

Last edited by CollegeGirl; 08-05-2013 at 04:20 PM.

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Old 08-05-2013, 05:58 PM
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I love this idea cg, will definitely post in it when I have kissed and cried my way home from Ghana next Sunday

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Old 08-06-2013, 06:49 PM
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I'll start.

I'm constantly in awe of how expensive this process is. When we first started out, I had these visions of this big expensive wedding with 200 of our friends and family. My fiance makes a decent living, so it seemed we could afford it if we put it off for just a year (with a small Sydney wedding shortly after PMV approval for immigration purposes). But things keep adding up... a thousand dollars here, two thousand there. And my wonderful, responsible fiance doesn't want to go into debt for our wedding (an instinct I want to support!).

So it looked like we were going to have to push the "big" wedding out even further (two years!!), making it a vow renewal, and just have our actual wedding be a small wedding in Sydney with the only people I know being a couple of friends I have there and my mom, and his parents and brother and colleagues. None of my best friends, no other family...

We talked it through, and finally we decided on a smaller wedding with just those closest to us on a relative's farm in May. This keeps us BOTH happy. It'll be less fancy and there will be far fewer guests... but we'll get to celebrate our marriage with our best friends and family, which is what I wanted.

I will say - I love that every time our relationship is tested like this, we come out stronger. No arguing - just figuring out how we can make each other happy while still getting across our own needs. I cannot WAIT to marry this man...

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__________________
Original Nationality: US
Visa #1: PMV (300) through Washington, D.C
Applied: April 2013.
Visa Granted: January 2014.
Visa #2: Subclass 820 (From PMV).
Applied: End of April 2014.
Visa Granted: Early July 2014.
Visa #3: 801 (PR)
Eligibility Date: End of April 2016 (Applied a month prior).
PR Granted: Early April 2017.

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Old 08-06-2013, 07:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CollegeGirl View Post
I'll start.

I'm constantly in awe of how expensive this process is. When we first started out, I had these visions of this big expensive wedding with 200 of our friends and family. My fiance makes a decent living, so it seemed we could afford it if we put it off for just a year (with a small Sydney wedding shortly after PMV approval for immigration purposes). But things keep adding up... a thousand dollars here, two thousand there. And my wonderful, responsible fiance doesn't want to go into debt for our wedding (an instinct I want to support!).

So it looked like we were going to have to push the "big" wedding out even further (two years!!), making it a vow renewal, and just have our actual wedding be a small wedding in Sydney with the only people I know being a couple of friends I have there and my mom, and his parents and brother and colleagues. None of my best friends, no other family...

We talked it through, and finally we decided on a smaller wedding with just those closest to us on a relative's farm in May. This keeps us BOTH happy. It'll be less fancy and there will be far fewer guests... but we'll get to celebrate our marriage with our best friends and family, which is what I wanted.

I will say - I love that every time our relationship is tested like this, we come out stronger. No arguing - just figuring out how we can make each other happy while still getting across our own needs. I cannot WAIT to marry this man...
my wife & I just got married in the mayor's office with my parents there, and waited for the big wedding for another few months before we could get everyone from all the countries together. when you've already been married it's surprising how big a deal the big wedding still is

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Old 08-06-2013, 08:23 PM
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Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by CollegeGirl View Post
I'll start.

I'm constantly in awe of how expensive this process is. When we first started out, I had these visions of this big expensive wedding with 200 of our friends and family. My fiance makes a decent living, so it seemed we could afford it if we put it off for just a year (with a small Sydney wedding shortly after PMV approval for immigration purposes). But things keep adding up... a thousand dollars here, two thousand there. And my wonderful, responsible fiance doesn't want to go into debt for our wedding (an instinct I want to support!).

So it looked like we were going to have to push the "big" wedding out even further (two years!!), making it a vow renewal, and just have our actual wedding be a small wedding in Sydney with the only people I know being a couple of friends I have there and my mom, and his parents and brother and colleagues. None of my best friends, no other family...

We talked it through, and finally we decided on a smaller wedding with just those closest to us on a relative's farm in May. This keeps us BOTH happy. It'll be less fancy and there will be far fewer guests... but we'll get to celebrate our marriage with our best friends and family, which is what I wanted.

I will say - I love that every time our relationship is tested like this, we come out stronger. No arguing - just figuring out how we can make each other happy while still getting across our own needs. I cannot WAIT to marry this man...

How long have you been together? Have you lived in Australia before?

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Old 08-06-2013, 09:25 PM
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We actually started dating in 2007, Peter. The whole saga is here if you get bored and want to read about it, haha.

And no - not only have I not lived there, I've never even been there before.

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Original Nationality: US
Visa #1: PMV (300) through Washington, D.C
Applied: April 2013.
Visa Granted: January 2014.
Visa #2: Subclass 820 (From PMV).
Applied: End of April 2014.
Visa Granted: Early July 2014.
Visa #3: 801 (PR)
Eligibility Date: End of April 2016 (Applied a month prior).
PR Granted: Early April 2017.

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Old 08-06-2013, 09:47 PM
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We actually started dating in 2007, Peter. The whole saga is here if you get bored and want to read about it, haha.

And no - not only have I not lived there, I've never even been there before.
That's a great story!

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Old 08-06-2013, 10:00 PM
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Thanks.

__________________
Original Nationality: US
Visa #1: PMV (300) through Washington, D.C
Applied: April 2013.
Visa Granted: January 2014.
Visa #2: Subclass 820 (From PMV).
Applied: End of April 2014.
Visa Granted: Early July 2014.
Visa #3: 801 (PR)
Eligibility Date: End of April 2016 (Applied a month prior).
PR Granted: Early April 2017.

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Old 08-06-2013, 11:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CollegeGirl View Post
I'll start.

I'm constantly in awe of how expensive this process is. When we first started out, I had these visions of this big expensive wedding with 200 of our friends and family. My fiance makes a decent living, so it seemed we could afford it if we put it off for just a year (with a small Sydney wedding shortly after PMV approval for immigration purposes). But things keep adding up... a thousand dollars here, two thousand there. And my wonderful, responsible fiance doesn't want to go into debt for our wedding (an instinct I want to support!).

So it looked like we were going to have to push the "big" wedding out even further (two years!!), making it a vow renewal, and just have our actual wedding be a small wedding in Sydney with the only people I know being a couple of friends I have there and my mom, and his parents and brother and colleagues. None of my best friends, no other family...

We talked it through, and finally we decided on a smaller wedding with just those closest to us on a relative's farm in May. This keeps us BOTH happy. It'll be less fancy and there will be far fewer guests... but we'll get to celebrate our marriage with our best friends and family, which is what I wanted.

I will say - I love that every time our relationship is tested like this, we come out stronger. No arguing - just figuring out how we can make each other happy while still getting across our own needs. I cannot WAIT to marry this man...
I think as young girls we all want that big huge wedding that you see on TV. It also seems that some offshore embassy's still want the huge wedding .... luckily in Australia the small wedding or registry office wedding can be quite normal.

The thing I find great is when you have that partner and no fighting or anything just talking out situations to reach a solution - my fiancee is exactly the same which is what I truly love about him.

But yes everything with a visa process adds up and it is not just the visa but the cost of flights etc that add up too .

I must admit though that last time I left my fiancee I slept most of the way back and was just awake for food as when I was asleep I was thinking and crying.

The hard thing for me at the moment is all the rejections I have seen on the forums regarding lodgments from Cairo. I know alot are for spouse applications and not PMV and maybe we just hear the bad ones of these forums and there have been no reports for 2013, but at times I just hope that the case officer can see how we feel about it each other. With it being a HR country my fiancee has an interview on Monday which of course has me thinking about it more lately.

The thing this topic reminds me of is when they did up my local train station a couple of years ago and replaced all the "park and rides" with "kiss and ride".

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Old 08-06-2013, 11:27 PM
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Ah this thread made me teary knowing that many are in the same boat as me, its honestly very very hard, which is why i will be moving with my hubby, if he cant come to me i shall go to him instead, mayb 6 months back and forth and that way perhaps the long wait can pass by without too many emotional breakdowns because i sure do break down when i say my goodbyes haha

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