relationship breakdown

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relationship breakdown

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Old 04-04-2014, 06:51 AM
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relationship breakdown

Hi all,

I married a filipina in philippines, brought her to Australia,
As soon as she got here I noticed she wasn't the same person I married, it's as if she took me for granted and wasn't caring. I wanted a baby, but she 'pretended she did as well' then she ends up telling me I should get someone pregnant so I'll have a baby, wtf..

I had a few problems with work and money not long after she arrived, so she was happy to work to help her family back home, but I never once asked for small help.

Until this week.
I realized all this time I've been helping her, I meant nothing to her once I needed a favor, like helping me with 1 bill, seeing as I paid all the bills for her and myself, never asking for her help.

She told me I am the man I should be the one who is only working to support her and her family,. But I don't get the best salary anymore. she's being selfish. Considering I've send 10 ' of thousands of dollars in the lead up to her coming to Australia.

She is very secretive, and her not feeling in love to me, seems though she has someone else on her mind.

I am considering pulling the 'plug' -if you like, but I am scared if she knows that I need to tell immigration, that she will put an court order against me (both her filipino friends have done that, but I don't know their circumstances) -this is the trust we have in each other -- none.

She is very cunning person,

what do I do, she won't see a councilor either..

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Old 04-04-2014, 06:57 AM
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I think it comes down to love. Do you love her? Does she love you? Are you issues cultural or is she really selfish? In the end go with you gut and you'll be okay.

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Old 04-04-2014, 07:00 AM
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Yeah, I did love her, now it's at the point of why do I keep trying to love someone who doesn't love me.

She even has the nerve to tell me she wants to just be friends, living in the same house, and all while staying on a temp. Visa., no chance. And that's why I think she could get a false domestic violence order against me if she knows I will tell immigration...

She's selfish, cunning and I honesty couldn't trust her

Oh, not to forget that she did cheat on me 1 month or so before I was meant to meet her in person for the first time, the Internet goes along way when you get the evidence sent straight to your facebook inbox.

I did forgive for that, and we were all good after that, or so I thought.

Last edited by somerandom; 04-04-2014 at 07:07 AM.

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Old 04-04-2014, 07:17 AM
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I would start to gather some evidence of her behaving in this way and then report the relationship breakdown to immigration.
Then she can't go to the police and report abuse. Although I'm not sure how she would do that without some sort of proof...

Very sorry to hear you are in this situation - your certainly don't deserve it. But from what you have said you deserve a lot better.

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Old 04-04-2014, 07:33 AM
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apparently a person could get an order on basis that someone is mentally abusing them ?(however means that could work)? Which could result in distress or anxiety etc.

On that note, I have in no direct term told her I know how the whole process works with her friends court orders, and I'm not stupid.

I am not the person to raise my voice or wave my arms around.

It's so easy for them to do a false report.

Last edited by somerandom; 04-04-2014 at 07:35 AM.

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Old 04-04-2014, 09:10 AM
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Cut off the financial support to her family back home, they aren't your responsibility. See a lawyer to get an idea of your rights and make a plan. Gather whatever evidence you can to support that she isn't interested in a genuine married relationship, and to protect you against any possible claims of domestic violence. Then when you're ready, report to DIBP that your relationship has broken down and hope that you have enough to prove your side of the story (or at least disprove enough of hers).

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Old 04-04-2014, 05:45 PM
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Hi! somerandom,

First of all I am truly sorry to hear your disaster marriage life..It is not your responsibility to support her family back in Phils. Forgive me to say this, but based on your story, I think your wife is a disgraced to Filipino society. I am not judging her as a person because I don't know her, but I am judging her behavior based on what u said. And as far you being afraid to be falsely reported for domestic violence, just like what u said "False report" you shouldn't be afraid if the truth is in your side. In fact it isn't easy to do that anyway she needs to go through a lot of trouble by providing evidence. And as far my understanding goes, if the relationship breakdown it breakdown doesn't matter who's fault it is. If u informed immigration over this matter and withdraw your sponsorship there's nothing that she could do. Believed me if she had done this to u now, she will always kept doing it. and whenever she will get her permanent residency then your done! She will just say Byebye to you and if worst she'll divorced you ,claiming half of whatever you owned. That's is just one of the worst scenario you wouldn't really wish to happen beco's it will cost you a hell lot of money for legal cost... That's what happen to my husband ex wife, she did not succeed in claiming half of all his properties but the legal battle protecting his asset had financially broke him terribly..

I am not scaring you, but just warn you for the worst thing that might happen. You seem to be a good man and u deserved a lot better.

Have a good day! thanks..

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Old 04-05-2014, 01:38 AM
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Wow, that's horrible. Wants to be "friends" and still get the spouse visa?

She's using you. I'd be running if I were you.


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Old 04-10-2014, 06:04 AM
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I have spoken to my dad and brother on the fact surrounding everything, although as the saying goes it takes '2 to tango' in regards to problems in relationship.

I have told to you the facts and none of what I said was a lie, and what you guys have told me my family have agreed that what she is doing/done is not right.

She works part time, has no bills, she sends money overseas to her parents which is great, and I support her thoughts on that, but she takes money from me because she says she has no money, then 1 day later start pulling $50 dollar bills out from the bank, makes me angry.

The one thing I need from her was a small ask, I am now going bankrupt as she had got a rental property that I had never seen in person, and now, I need to pay it as well, I'm financially ruined, but on a bright side I am happy knowing I can get a new start.

ืthe whole idea of this other property was so we could move there, knowing I couldn't pay that property myself, she knew this, but this is what she done to me,

Live and learn, I feel sorry for her because it's going to be a big shock to her if immi will send her home, and feel sorry for her family, but I am emotionally tired, financially ruined that someone could be unfair to me, after I spend thousands of dollars up until she was in Australia.

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Old 04-10-2014, 07:28 AM
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Its happens alot with Filipino women, using men to get visas in countries. Is there a large age difference between you? If relationship seems to good to be true it normally is. Its not natural for a young woman ( well from my perspective as a young person) to be in a relationship with a 45 plus man, so there is high break up rates. Why did you go to the Filipino a in the first place? Why not marry an east asian woman. Maybe live in there.

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