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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2014, 11:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michael1682 View Post
Greetings everyone...

I would like to thank all who have taken the time out to help me out with my journey to return to Australia to be with the woman I love. However, I regret to inform you that she has decided to part ways with me after our long hard fought journey. I won't go into all the detail of how all this came about because I don't know it all for sure but I will say that if you are continuing to do this do not lose focus of what you are in it for and that is LOVE. Even though I didn't lose focus of that but I did get caught up in the escape and the allure of leaving America to be in the best place in the world and let the stress of it all bring what we had down. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever faced in my life and I don't wish this pain upon anyone so please, if you are going through something similar talk to you your partner everyday and tell them you love them more than anything no matter how hard it gets. If the love is there keep pressing on. I am still going to complete the last step of the visa process by taking my medicals just in case a miracle happens but it looks like this chapter in my life has ended. NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON LOVE. It can conquer all obstacles if you allow it too and have faith but not every ending is a happy ending. Again, I can't thank you all enough and continue to pray for me as I go through the biggest challenge yet... losing the love of my life. Many blessings.


-Michael
I was reading your post with tears in my eyes, Michael. It's so understandable why and how it happened to you. The visa stress we all going through is just unbearable and obviously affects the relationship and our minds. I'm so grateful to my loved one for being with me every second of my life during this horrible journey despite the distance and for keeping our love alive...

I hope one day your partner will see that this is not a normal situation and will not last forever (I mean the visa process) and change her mind about you.

All the best!!!

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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2014, 11:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Mish View Post
Awwww Michael I am so sorry to hear. It is a stressful period for a lot of us.

Any way that you can get an ETA to Australia to go and visit her to see if you can get things to work out.

Good luck

Hi Mish.

Thank you for your concern. I was thinking the exact same thing to get an ETA and do the biggest stunt I could ever do to save us but the way she is talking after a long road I'm afraid this might be the end. Please know I've gone through hell since I left her at Perth International Airport around this time last year. I get back to the US, the job I was at was one hour away from firing me before I resigned and landed a new job. I had to pay big money for dental and health scares from stress out of pocket because at the time I had no insurance. Oddly enough, the day after she buys her wedding dress I was laid off from that job and it took 2 months to get to the one I'm at right now which has been hell in itself because it's SALES. In the midst of all that my sister had a cancer scare 2 weeks before i lodged the app. and it was so hard to cope with because I'm worrying about getting laid off again, i'm gonna lose a family member or leaving when she could be sick (she's fine btw) and trying to maintain a long distance relationship while checking my email every 5 mins to see if the embassy has found us...??? It was just so hard. So all my negativity from all this lead to frustration and arguments and we both said things to each other that were so wrong. One day she would set me off and vice versa but at the end of the day we reconciled until now and it appears she's just fed up and it's nothing more I can do.

As much as it hurts I can't lose her as a friend and that's all she wants after a long period of space. I didn't want to cancel anything just yet but she has every right to feel the way she feels and I can't stop life from happening. Low and behold, I finally get a job i start next week that will be STABLE and all my stress will be gone but she still won't change her mind because she is hurting after all we've said to one another.

I'm praying for better results and she knows I'll go above and beyond for her but it's only so much I can do. I don't want her to be unhappy and if me letting her go will make her happy I'm doing the right thing.

Hopefully she misses me and realizes I'm a good man despite my imperfections and this love story can have a happy ending but for now I must let go and let GOD. Keeping the faith


  #13 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 12:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michael1682 View Post
Greetings everyone...

I would like to thank all who have taken the time out to help me out with my journey to return to Australia to be with the woman I love. However, I regret to inform you that she has decided to part ways with me after our long hard fought journey. I won't go into all the detail of how all this came about because I don't know it all for sure but I will say that if you are continuing to do this do not lose focus of what you are in it for and that is LOVE. Even though I didn't lose focus of that but I did get caught up in the escape and the allure of leaving America to be in the best place in the world and let the stress of it all bring what we had down. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever faced in my life and I don't wish this pain upon anyone so please, if you are going through something similar talk to you your partner everyday and tell them you love them more than anything no matter how hard it gets. If the love is there keep pressing on. I am still going to complete the last step of the visa process by taking my medicals just in case a miracle happens but it looks like this chapter in my life has ended. NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON LOVE. It can conquer all obstacles if you allow it too and have faith but not every ending is a happy ending. Again, I can't thank you all enough and continue to pray for me as I go through the biggest challenge yet... losing the love of my life. Many blessings.


-Michael
Awwww i am really sorry to hear this. I totally understand what you are going through. Keep your head up high and never give up. Good luck in your future endeavors. Australia will always welcome you back with open arms

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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 12:08 AM
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Michael I am so sorry to hear about what has happened. They don't make it easy and I can't believe you guys have been apart for a year. I can't stand the thought of being away from my partner. We have been apart for four months next month and it is so hard I will be flying out to America for a month and than if we don't have a case officer by December/January I will probably fly back to America on a B2 visa until our visa is approved. It's so hard and I understand how hard it must be for you. There have been times where my partner and I have got fustrated aswell because we miss and love each other so much. The visa itself is a real test on relationships and I think thats why they make it such a long and hard process to see what relationships will really last throughout it. I hope that your partner does come around and you can both get through this. Maybe give her a few days to think about what she wants. She is probably just mentally drained and can't deal with it anymore but maybe you guys can come up with a Plan B, maybe tell her you will fly out there on a tourist visa until the visa is approved. There is always a way around things even if its hard. I am thinking of you and know it mustn't be easy for you right now. I hope things will get better for you.

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Applied for Offshore 309 Visa- 19th of July.

Heard from our CO on 9th of January. They have recommended we apply for the BC100 if we have enough evidence. Hopefully see an approval this or next month!

Next time I will see my partner will be 11th of March.

  #15 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 01:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
I was reading your post with tears in my eyes, Michael. It's so understandable why and how it happened to you. The visa stress we all going through is just unbearable and obviously affects the relationship and our minds. I'm so grateful to my loved one for being with me every second of my life during this horrible journey despite the distance and for keeping our love alive...

I hope one day your partner will see that this is not a normal situation and will not last forever (I mean the visa process) and change her mind about you.

All the best!!!

Hi Sydney

Thank you so much for your comment. I really hope so to. We really had a lot of arguments and some things are just unfixable in her eyes. All in all, I'm going to do the best I can. I'm so glad you have someone who is willing to ride with you until the end . Many blessings to you.

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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 01:33 AM
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Originally Posted by lildevil872 View Post
Awwww i am really sorry to hear this. I totally understand what you are going through. Keep your head up high and never give up. Good luck in your future endeavors. Australia will always welcome you back with open arms

Lildevil872.

Thanks for the motivation. I'm sure destiny will bring me back there one day. It's a wonderful place and I can't wait to return if it is meant. Peace and love.


  #17 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 01:39 AM
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Originally Posted by AUSUSA8892 View Post
Michael I am so sorry to hear about what has happened. They don't make it easy and I can't believe you guys have been apart for a year. I can't stand the thought of being away from my partner. We have been apart for four months next month and it is so hard I will be flying out to America for a month and than if we don't have a case officer by December/January I will probably fly back to America on a B2 visa until our visa is approved. It's so hard and I understand how hard it must be for you. There have been times where my partner and I have got fustrated aswell because we miss and love each other so much. The visa itself is a real test on relationships and I think thats why they make it such a long and hard process to see what relationships will really last throughout it. I hope that your partner does come around and you can both get through this. Maybe give her a few days to think about what she wants. She is probably just mentally drained and can't deal with it anymore but maybe you guys can come up with a Plan B, maybe tell her you will fly out there on a tourist visa until the visa is approved. There is always a way around things even if its hard. I am thinking of you and know it mustn't be easy for you right now. I hope things will get better for you.

Hi AUSUSA8892

Thank you so much for the kind words. Everything you mentioned I was down for as I will make the 30 hr flight in a heart beat to at least make one last try to save my relationship but the way she has been talking it seems like there is nothing more I can do. We have some very painful memories and with the series of black clouds I've mentioned in this thread she is afraid that we will only be divorced in the end but all of this has been caused by us not being able to deal with the stress of our everyday lives. I appreciate you and everyone else still being optimistic and I will take that with me and see if the space she wants will bring her back to me. Best wishes to you and keep fighting the good fight

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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 02:12 AM
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The one thing to remind her is that the pmv is for 9 months. So you could go straight after the grant and live together for say 6 months and then get married.

Alot of people are scared that they will get divorced especially with a high divorced rate in Australia.

One thing I would say is don't leave her alone for too long as it gets harder to get it back the longer you leave it.

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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 02:21 AM
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Just a thought ... do you video call her or only voice only? It is much harder when voice only and you can't see each other.

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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 02:25 AM
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Originally Posted by michael1682 View Post
Thank you Collegegirl for the info. I definitely appreciate your concern but my whole thing is just to fight until I can't fight no more. I don't wanna bring anymore violins out but I really don't have much more to lose. I don't want to cancel it and then she all of a sudden comes around and then we have to start it all over but if it's granted and she still hasn't come around I won't go. However, when u say "trouble," does that mean prosecution?
Quite honestly, I don't know for sure. At the very least if you were in Aus when they found out they'd give you 28 days to leave or you'd wind up being deported. You'd also incur a three-year ban from applying for any temporary visas in Australia. That's at minimum.

It would potentially be considered visa fraud, though, which yes, could potentially allow them to prosecute you (I think) If you were in Australia at the time or ever returned to Australia, even years down the road. It's not a chance I'd take. When you apply for the partner visa, one of the things you signed says you promise (and you're making a promise on a legal document) to notify them immediately if your relationship ends.

Your fiancee would be in even more hot water, though, since she is the sponsor, in Australia, and can much more easily be held legally culpable if you got the visa and flew over on it when you weren't entitled to it.

I really wouldn't mess around with it. Obviously you don't have to notify them your relationship has ended until you are SURE it's over, which may give you a little gray area to work with if you still aren't sure, but she sounds close to certain.

I'm kind of hoping a migration agent will weigh in and tell you what the exact potential consequences are for both of you for certain if you don't report it. Either way, I wouldn't risk it. She's got even more to lose than you do.

If I were you at this juncture, I would fly to Australia on an ETA immediately, and notify the embassy that you're taking a brief holiday to Australia. That stops them from being able to decide your visa because they can't grant it while you're in Australia.

Make whatever grand gesture you want when you get there. If she agrees to resume the relationship, well, all good, and you can continue the visa processing. If she says no, however, well, you'll have your answer, and you'll need to notify DIBP and cancel the processing of the visa.

My two cents.

__________________
Original Nationality: US
Visa #1: PMV (300) through Washington, D.C
Applied: April 2013.
Visa Granted: January 2014.
Visa #2: Subclass 820 (From PMV).
Applied: End of April 2014.
Visa Granted: Early July 2014.
Visa #3: 801 (PR)
Eligibility Date: End of April 2016 (Applied a month prior).
PR Granted: Early April 2017.

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