Spouse visa/complicated situation

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Spouse visa/complicated situation

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Old 06-30-2011, 02:45 PM
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Exclamation Spouse visa/complicated situation

Hi All ,

I am wondering if by chance anyone has gone through the same or similar situation as my husband and I.

Here is the story...

My husband and I met in early 2009 and officially seeing each other in March. My huband is from Bahrain and was studying at QUT for his bachelors in accounting and finance when we first met.
We are both still fairly young when meeting he is now 24 and I am 22.
Our relationship quickly progressed and I moved into his place that he shared with his stepbrother and friend in late April. Because of cultural differences etc his family did not know we lived together only my family and our friends knew.
In August of the same year my husband was in a motorcycle accident and was in the ICU for a few weeks.
All through our relationship we had plans to marry and live in Australia but after this accident of his it threw a monkey wrench in our whole program.
He would have graduated that year but because of this he had to postpone and instead he graduated in Feb/Mar of 2010 through a special assesment peice his uni allowed him to do due to his accident.
Also his mother fell ill after his accident due to the stress and as a result we considered but had not decided at the time to spend time in Bahrain.
After he graduated he was going to apply for his CPA in aus around and he was going back home to see his family in July for 2 months and woudl return to do the CPA. My husbands mum set him up with an internship at ernest and young in Bahrain so the vaccation would have to be extended to accomodate for that. Around June before he left he recieved all the details for his CPA and he decided against doing it in Aus because of the foundation work and something about waisting his time etc etc so we discussed it and decided it would be best for him to go do his internship and possibly find work in Bahrain as he attempted finding work in Aus after graduating but wasnt able to due to lack of experience in his feild. So we set a plan that I would join him later and we would spend some time there to appease his family as they didnt really like the idea of him living in Aus for me and I suspect marrying me (being foreign not Bahraini and all).
We where suppose to be married in Bahrain when I joined him but I found out I was pregnant literally 3 weeks before he left so with the blessing of my family (not his) we where married 2 weeks before he left.
His mother came around shortly after and plans still went ahead. I stayed and worked (employed f/t same place for 4 yrs) and he set things up in Bahrain.
My husband was then employed full time with ernest and young as an associate auditor and will complete his U.S CPA with them. I joined him late Oct and although our plan was to stay here for a few years 3 at most I am returning to Australia in August with our son who was born in mid March.
Although it pains me to leave my husband circumstances change and we have both agreed it is best to start our planes to come back to Aus from now.
From the start our living arrangments in Bahrain are not ment to be permanent like I said only for 2 years or so while my husband works and sets himself up to increase and better his chances in finding emplyment in Aus which as we all know is very difficult atm. But because of recent events in the middle east and protests that occured in Bahrain I especially am not happy to stay here any longer and chance anything. My son was actually born on the day the Saudi Arabian army came into Bahrain to control the situation and what an experience that was. Military check points and cerfew on the way to the hospital while im in labor. Only some hospital staff on at the time because of everything going on and soldiers being housed in the hospital rooms in the maternity ward
Apart from that I'm like a koala that is findind it tought to adjust to a hrash enviroment out of my native land. I keep getting sick and now I have chronic sinus problems that the ENT tells me is enviromental. I also became extremely depressed here with the cultural differences and shock of the place and the people. Being treated pretty badly which I found really odd as I my family are refuges to Australia (I was 3 yrs old when we came) and I NEVER experienced anything like this in Australia.
On top of all that the common clashes with the family over cultural differences bagging on Australia constantly trying to convince us to stay here forever, interfering and meddling constantly. I suspect they dont like me very much after all and I just can't live walking on egg shells all the time. So I am returning to the mother land where with my son who is a citizen by decent and my husband will stay here to work.

In an ideal situation we would love to go together because we are a family and it's our first child and this is not how we hoped things would turn out. But we have to be realistic he has a steady job here and he is doing his CPA through Ernest and Young and once completed he will be further qualified not to mention the fantastic job experience he gained.
I will be going back for the reasons mentioned above and to find work, get all our things sorted and baby settled in one place so that when my husband does join us we will be on the right track. Also it's worth mentioning my husband planes to join us after a year and a half or less depending on the visa and work etc with a visit in between in March for a month or 2 for the babies birthday and mine.

So after all that my questions are:
1. Should I apply offshore from when I come back or can I wait till I find full time work. I wont be looking at going back to work till baby is 10-12months old and I was told I have to be working fulltime to apply for the spousal visa for my husband but my son will still be young when I go back and I would like to stay with him a bit more. Or I was also told they would only evaluate his wage and the wagwe difference is pretty big if you compare it. Bahrain wages are much lower.
Will they look at this as time of seperation? Believe me when I say our relationship is very much in tact dispite the distance.
2. Will this time of seperation from each other effect our visa application. Please understand I WILL NOT stay in Bahrain anymore. It's not a suitable option for me.
3. How long will the visa take to grant and after it has been granted will my husband get time to move to Australia or will he have to come immediatley.
4. We do not have a joint bank account together but transfer money to and from each other all through out our relationship for expenses.
We do not have a lease agreement together in Aus it was under his name and here in Bahrain we live in an apartment owned by his family free of charge.
All the furnishing in our apartment reciepts are all in my husbands name as he bought it all or was gifted it by his family for our marriage.
The only things we have bought together are the baby items crib etc...

Apart from leaving my husband with our child which Im struggling to think about I am extremely stressed about the visa process and how complicated it seems and that our situation is also just as complicated.

Please if some-one could give me a good indication on what I should do and what to expect I would be forever greatful.


  #2 (permalink)  
Old 06-30-2011, 04:51 PM
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Location: Western Australia
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3 likes received
I just read that and I really feel your situation. And right of the bat it sounds pretty authentic to me. Honestly, my opinion is to get some qualified assistance. It's a pretty big undertaking and if you can have a migration agent helping you you'll get a reasonable idea of your chances up front, as well as not have to live with the uncertainty of preparing everything you'll need to obtain for the application on your own.

Whilst I'm no expert by any stretch I think the fact that you're married and have a child lend significant weight to your case.

Wish you all the best!

  #3 (permalink)  
Old 06-30-2011, 05:41 PM
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Hi czerney thanks for your reply. I am planning to meet with a migration lawyer when Im back in Brissy I spoke to her on the phone a few times and she seems to think it will be okay but its hard to tell till I meet with her and I can sit and explain everything to her.

I'm glad that it made sense to some-one I just never pre thought about visas etc because I didnt predict any of what happened and neither did my husband. I feel sorry for him in fact I know he is happy to stay in Bahrain if I was happy here. His family is pretty well off for money etc and we could have things very easy just like now our apartment is bigger then any house I lived in, in Australia. But I convinced him about Australia and that people and things education, health etc are much better and that he agrees. I really made many problems for him and he had to fight hard for me with his family he is currently not on speaking terms with one of his aunts because of me.
I have some aussie friends and british mates here that love this place so I dont know what Im doing wrong.
I just cant see myself bringing up our little man here and the APPAULING class system. Im not asian and I dont think I look asian but here if your different your either of the 3 American, Indian or Filipino. Im not white enough to look American and Im not dark enough to look Indian so to people here I must be a Filipino so they treat me like the maids they use as slaves at home. I worked for my mum in law temp at her salons she owns a bunch of beauty spas and the ladies that came for service acted like I was a worthless sack of poop one lady demanded I remove her socks for her and another time I got in trouble because a member of Al Khalifa (the royals) came to the salon and I didnt 'stand' for her in her presence Oo... I was then called rude and stupid or something along those lines. Men harrass good looking women like its the first time they've seen one and theres not a damn thing I can do about it cause Its not my country.
I cry to my husband all the time and it dosent help that his family and I are not getting along. They liked me at first after they got over everything until they got to know me and realised !!!! she is really actually really aussie HAHA! (in mannerisms etc)... In all fairness they have been fairly good about it seeing as Arabs typically only marry arabs and its def not a easy thing to come to terms with pre marital sex let alone a baby as a result and they love the bub.
Just to give u one example I know of out of many a friend of ours who is also from the gulf was in a long term relationship with an african girl he told his family they refussed her he didnt want to go against his family, as is the general custom here so he left her just like that got on the plane didnt tell her he wasnt coming back he never contacted her again- she now has a 14month old daughter. Blessing for her really because he was not a good guy obviously. But there are also cases like mine where it works out not without trouble though...

Anyway sorry to ramble on thank you and I will update my progress for anyone that needs the tips and comfort

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Old 06-30-2011, 10:52 PM
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I lived in the UAE for five years and have a good comprehension of the situation you face, both from living in the Middle East and the challenges of proving a relationship where the details are in your husbands name.

A few steps I can suggest;
- Have your son made an Australian Citizen and get him an Australian passport
- We were unable to prove a rental document because it was in my husbands name, fortunately we were able to have the landlord write a statutory declaration to say we were living together. This may be possible from a neighbour of good standing?
- Use alternative methods of proving your relationship, letters, wedding cards etc
- Ask for a stat dec from his employer stating you are his next of kin

On a side note, I am aware how hard it would be in Bahrain at the moment but also be aware of the family ties. Your absence will strengthen his families hold....
There are jobs in Australia when his visa is approved. Sometimes it does pay to take your eyes off the direct goal (his career) and do something else for a while so you can be together. You are both very young and at this stage being together and with your son are hugely important.

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Old 07-01-2011, 05:25 AM
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Hi Dangermouse thank you for the reply.

Our son is a AU citizen with a passport we had him registered as a citizen by decent at birth. The apartment we live in is owned by his grandmother who does not speak or write any english so that could be a bit hard. Or maybe she can write it in Arabic and I can have it officially translated other option is my husband spoke to her and she offered to give us a lease just as proof of us living together.
Because you lived in UAE you probably know its highly a cultural thing to have nearly everything in your husbands name and the man to provide. Your right it does make it alot harder but I have been gathering alternatives such as photos, cards, letters, emails, chat logs, I will gather as many stats declarations from friends here and in AU, family stat declarations.
Also when I go back I will be putting my husband as my benefactor on my super fund. I am also on his health fund here as his wife in the process of getting a letter from them to officially state that. I can give them receipts of my medical bills (for pregnancy) in my and my husbands name. I also lodged my tax return last year before I left as married so I hope that helps. I can also get stat declarations from my ex colleagues and manager who knew our relationship pretty well, especially during my husbands accident when I had to take lots of time of work to take care of him. I can also provide a phone bills with his number virtually dialed all the time in AU and also here in Bahrain. And I have one bill from when he was in the hospital where I rang his mother and father and other relatives in Bahrain and the bill was close to $1000 -__-...
I also have videos while he was in the ICU and pictures feat me ofcourse.
We also owned animals together that where registered to both me and my husband with pet safe. Plane tickets, I also dealt with ALL of his medical insurance, university, lawyers and the DIAC actually after his accident to give them the hospital and uni letters to extend his visa. I had to take him to see them and tell them what was going on. I have all the letters and emails etc giving me full right to act on my husbands behalf even before marriage. I am pretty sure the DIAC must have kept a record of when we came to see them so I hope this helps.
He was also with me at the birth of my son so I have a video which I am not keen on providing and probably wont and lots of pics which im happy to give

Do you think all that I just mentioned will help?

I completley agree with what your saying but my husband is a stubborn and proud person very much like dare I say it his mother. He does not like the idea of not being able to stand on our own economically and he is very ambitious. I know what your saying and he will move to Aus to find a job once the visa goes through and he has finalised everything here. I just job the experience with E&Y and the completion of his cpa helps. Personally I dont care about these things I'm a live for the moment type of person but now I see how he has grown up and the values that where instilled in him.

Its not a bad thing I reckon it just means sacrifice sometimes and I have to support him.
I dont reckon we will stay apart together long he does plan to make a visit before the visa goes through and once it does go through he will come and be with us. Its going to be damn hard but I reckon we will come out the better for it in the end

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